Cut and trim the cauliflower into florets.

Rice the cauliflower by either processing it in a food processor with a grater attachment, pulsing it in a food processor with a s-blade, or grating it by hand with a cheese grater.

Transfer the riced cauliflower to a large piece of cheese cloth or a nut-milk bag. Twist the cloth and squeeze as much water as possible from the cauliflower. If you work at this for 5-10 minutes, you'll be able to squeeze ¼-1/2 cup of water out of the cauliflower.

Add the coconut oil to a large skillet and heat over medium heat.

Add in the scallions and cook them for 3-4 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Add in the riced cauliflower and cook for another 4-5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

While the scallions and cauliflower are cooking, add the tamari or soy sauce, rice vinegar, sesame oil, and chili-garlic paste to a small bowl. Whisk together for 15-30 seconds.

Add the sauce to the pan, turn up the heat to medium-high, and cook for 5-7 minutes (stirring frequently) or until the "rice" develops a nice golden color throughout.

Divide the rice up between bowls and garnish with fresh scallions, if desired.

Refrigerate leftovers.